


Spiral

by esmerelda_t



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Adultery, F/M, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Not Canon Compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmerelda_t/pseuds/esmerelda_t
Summary: He’s drying his hair off post shower when his dad’s voice sighs in his ear, disappointment dripping, “Adultery now too, Matty. I thought I raised you better than that.”  Matt snaps back, “You didn’t raise me at all.” He takes a deep breath. Tries to remind himself the voice isn’t real.
Relationships: Jessica Jones/Matt Murdock, background Karen Page/Frank Castle, background Matt Murdock/OFC, past Jessica Jones/Luke Cage, past Karen Page/Matt Murdock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Spiral

Matt’s not expecting Helen’s call and he’s certainly not expecting she suggests they _meet_ at 3pm in a bar off Times Square, the kind of tourist trap neither of them would usually be seen dead in, so there’s no chance anyone they know will see them there. He’s drying his hair off post shower when his dad’s voice sighs in his ear, disappointment dripping, “Adultery now too, Matty. I thought I raised you better than that.” Matt snaps back, “You didn’t raise me at all.” He takes a deep breath. Tries to remind himself the voice isn’t _real_.

It’s Sunday and the Broadway matiness mean the bar isn’t too busy yet, their target audience all at a show. Helen is there already, in a corner, he can smell her shampoo and deodorant, no perfume. Not like when she’s at the courthouse. He taps his way over to the bar anyway, keeping up the pretence, asks, “I’m meeting a friend, could you let me know if…” Helen has noticed him and gets up to join him, her heartbeat is stressed and Matt feels his stomach lurch. It’s not the usual, _clandestine affair_ stress, it’s something else. It’s Stick whispering in his ear this time, cackling, “Maybe she’s _pregnant_ and you can add deadbeat dad to your list of fuck ups.” He orders a drink and when it’s put in front of him hoops his cane round his wrist, uses his free hand to take Helen’s elbow as she guides him back to the booth.

Helen fidgets with her drink when she sits down, it’s gin and tonic so probably _not_ pregnant, which is something he guesses. She asks him if he’s had a good weekend, like it’s Monday morning already and they’ve casually met in the lobby. She’s an assistant DA, with an NYPD detective husband and two kids. He answers blandly, tells her he ran chores, leaves out most of those chores were done at night in Kevlar. He told her the scars were a car accident, he’s thinking of mixing it up next time, saying _tiger attack_ , he’s amazed how little anyone questions it. She takes a deep breath, “Mark and I…we’ve been talking a lot the past week or so, he’s knows something is off but instead of losing his shit he’s really _trying._ Helping with the kids more, coming home after work instead of drinking with his buddies, taking out the garbage without being asked even. I think I owe it to him, and the kids, to _stop_ this. He’s making the effort and I need to do the same now too. I’m sorry Matt, you’re a good guy, you didn’t deserve to be collateral damage in this.” Stick’s voice comes from beside Helen, a snort and “So good he can’t even make it as a side piece, aww Matty, you gonna cry now? What you thought she was going to leave him? For _you_?” Stick’s laughter fades as Matt finds himself blinking away damp eyes behind his glasses. He _didn’t_ ever think Helen was going to leave her husband, not for him anyway, didn’t even _want_ her to. He shouldn’t be this upset. Helen’s tone is cautious, “Matt? Are you okay?”

He pulls himself together, nods, plasters a brittle smile on his face, “Yeah. I understand, of course you should give it another shot with Mark, I really hope it works out, for all of you.” He throws back the rest of his whiskey and stands up, ignores the pity he feels radiating from the bartender as he taps his way past and to the door.

~

He gets three blocks when he can’t stand the bickering behind him anymore, his dad and Stick arguing over which one of them is responsible for why Matt is the way he is. He pulls out his phone, instructs it, “Call Foggy.” Foggy picks up on the fourth ring, answers jovially, “Matty! What’s up!”

Foggy is out, possibly a late lunch or early dinner, Matt guesses the former as Foggy sounds a few drinks in. Matt can hear Marci and is momentarily confused when he thinks he can hear Karen, why wouldn’t they invite him? Then he hears a fourth voice and he can barely hear anything else over the roar of his own accelerated heartbeat, says bluntly, “Frank is there.”

Foggy pauses, then sighs, “Matt, we discussed this, at length. That if we wanted to keep Karen in our lives we had to accept that she was with Frank. I know this is particularly difficult for you but…” Matt cuts him off, “We didn’t agree we’d fucking _double_ date with them! Jesus, Foggy, it’s Frank! Marci barely lets me in your apartment but she’s fine with this?” Foggy hisses over the line, “It’s not like we introduced him to her as the Punisher! He’s got his stupid hipster beard and fake name!”

Stick is laughing behind him while his dad sadly comments, “I really wish you’d have tried harder with Karen, maybe then she’d have chosen you instead.” Matt turns his head sharply, “Shut up!”

Foggy is indignant down the line, “ _Excuse me_? Did you just…” Matt cuts him off, “I need to go, bye.”

Matt can’t breathe, he leans against the wall and concentrates, in, out. He’s been to a doctor for an asthma check but didn’t go back after the doctor gently suggested his symptoms were more consistent with panic attacks than asthma. When a third, female voice, joins the cacophony, Matt groans, says, “You might actually be here, not like I’d hear a heartbeat anyway.” Elektra’s voice chides him, “Matthew, that is uncalled for, as I was saying, I _never_ liked Karen anyway, pissy and self-righteous, she’s much better suited to Castle and everyone, including you, knows it. You should go see her.” Matt is confused, “What, you just _said…_ ” Elektra cuts him off, sounding irritated, “Not Karen! You should go see Jessica, that’s who you _really_ want to see, not what’s her name in the polyester skirt you’ve been distracting yourself with. You’d have been more upset if she’d said she _was_ leaving her boring little husband.” His dad intercedes at that, “Oh, oh no. That is a _terrible_ idea, Matty, that’s a road you don’t want to go down, not with a dame like that.” Elektra scoffs, “Dame? Is this a Bogart film?” Matt ignores them but heads in the direction of Jessica’s building.

~

It’s a sign of how distracted he is that Luke opening Jessica’s door completely throws him. He should have realised he was on the other side and walked away. He can hear a shower running, stutters out, “Oh…I…I didn’t realise you were…” _Back together_. Of course they were. Stick is laughing hysterically now, “You really thought she might want _you_ when she could have _him_? A real hero, a real man, not a needy little broken orphan boy like you.” Matt ignores Luke calling after him as he walks away.

He’s outside the building when there’s a _whush_ and Jessica is in front of him, hair damp and cotton t-shirt and sweats brushing against her skin. He looks up, “Did you _jump_ out the window?” Jessica sounds annoyed, “Obviously, Luke says you were acting really weird and squirrelly, he’s worried and I still have about six things I want him to fix rather than have him running after you.” Matt is increasingly confused over the direction of the conversation, “Fix?” Jessica is definitely annoyed now, “ _Yes,_ Oscar is out of town for a few weeks so now of course every fucking thing in my apartment has broken, he’s just fixed my shower. You know I keep Danny around for the free food, Luke around as handyman backup and you around to drink and bitch with.” Matt asks cautiously, “So you’re not…back together?” Jessica snorts, “God no, he’d be all ‘make better life choices Jessica, eat more kale Jessica, can Danny move in Jessica’. Not only has that ship sailed I’ve closed the port so it can’t ever come back. So why _are you_ being weird and squirrelly?”

Jessica knows about Helen, had just shrugged and taken another swig of beer when Matt asked her what she thought, the lack of hectoring judgement was one of the things Matt loves, he means, likes, most about her. He explains, “Helen broke up with me, she wants to try and make her marriage work. Didn’t want to talk about it in front of Luke.” Jessica nods, “A fair call, you want to come back up? We can make fun of Luke being such a square and get take out.”

Matt nods back, “Yeah, I’d like that a lot.” Matt takes the elbow that’s being proffered and lets Jessica guide him back into the building.


End file.
